When you don't find out the sex of your baby, which apparently is pretty rare these days, the most common question is "do you think it's a boy or a girl?" I've had fun with putting the question back, especially with the kids I teach and my nephews (though I question how much my two year old nephews or really know what a boy or girl is, so that's probably pretty unreliable). One first grade student this summer without hesitation said "boy" and in response to what should I name it, he said again without hesitation "Bob. Baby Bob coming through." I laughed so hard mainly because I understand that the baby does kind of "come through" but I don't think he did.
I really haven't had any strong feelings either way. Sure I had a dream early on that we had an ultrasound done in the mall by our Pastor and they commented that the baby had a striking resemblance to Suri Cruise, despite the third leg protruding like a tail. And I've probably had one or two other girl dreams, also early on, but not as memorable. Those I always attributed to talking about the subject or the just plain crazy phenomenon we call dreams. Part of me has tried hard not to convince myself either way, so it can still be the ultimate surprise, however as I'm nearing (gee how long have I been saying somethin along the lines of "I'm nearing") the official meeting day I may have a thought.
First off I should start by saying Danny thinks we are having a girl purely based on either slip ups or regular occurence at the doctor's office. The ultrasound tech said "her arm" and the doctor said "she" and then corrected herself by adding "or he." While excited by the possible truth of this, I have since scoffed it off as purely coincidence that both those medical providers always use she.
This morning I started to think maybe the baby is a she. Not based on Danny's reasoning or the common response "the way your carrying it must be a (fill in the blank)" (which by the way I think I have gotten pretty 50/50 responses based on the way I'm carrying, some truth that theory brings). You see I think the baby might be a girl because I'm getting a sense of personality. Boys may test you physically like "so you think I won't through this expensive vase, watch me" but girls test you more in a "I'm right, I'm the boss sort of way." The personality I'm sensing is the latter.
As I have been anxiously awaiting the baby's arrival (I was convinced the baby would arrive around 38 weeks, boy was I wrong), I have had several instances, probably everyday, of sensations wondering if this is it. After waiting a little while it always ends in a big fat no. It's not the physical drain, but the mental drain of this constant, "do we call, do we go in battle" that is taking it's toll. And again I truly believe boys test you more physically girls test you mentally. Last night after several of what I think were bladder pains that took my breath away, we decided to call. We knew they weren't contractions, but weren't sure the harm a bladder infection would do to the baby if I had one. And of course after talking to the doctor I was left with the, "it's really up to you if you want to come in." The decision was emotionally draining on me, the doctor said there wouldn't be harm to the baby I would just get increasingly sick as time went on if it was an infection, however I was so tired the thought of sitting at the hospital only to hear "it's just the baby sitting on your bladder" seemed like even worse torture (not that I want it to be an infection, just to clarify). I was so sick of gasping from the stabbing pain when I would that everything was starting to frustrate me, the sound of Danny working on the computer, the stupid movie playin on tv, etc. I finally decided I was too exhausted to want to go into the hospital at that point, if a fever came I would have gone immediately, and went upstairs. I really felt this was more of a how can I mentally get through the frustration of not being able to move or sleep or always feeling like I have to go to the bathroom.
So that's one test, the other is I really now think the baby might come on the due date, for the pure "I told you so" factor. I know, none of you can imagine a baby saying that with hands on the hips and a glare in the eye but fast forward 13 years or ask any mother of a teenage girl and I bet you can. September 28 has been our due date all along, from the internet predictions to the first ultrasound and every apppointment since. So now, one day before, I wonder if the baby is a girl and her first sentence is going to be, "I told you so." If I'm wrong, then clearly you can see I have way to much time on my hands to analyze things.
Well, Danny's studying with Murphy conked out on his lap, so I figured I would take some time to post some more pictures. Amazingly the downloading went really smooth. Also, it's snowing like crazy so I'm pretty much cooped up tomorrow too, so I have some spare time at least as far as being at home is concerned. I realized the most difficult part for me about having a baby is that I'm not very good at just staying home and relaxing. In fact today is probably the first day I haven't gone out in a long time and even then I walked to the gas station near our house to buy a magazine. Whether Murphy is with me or at home with one of his other adoring family members, I'm just not good at being home. I have to say I did kind of enjoy being forced to do it today and tomorrow, so maybe it will catch on.
